Proverbs 31 Isn't A Job Description for Women

Devotional | May 5, 2021

This Sunday is Mother’s Day. 

 

I remember one Mother’s Day when I was a teenager sitting in church, hearing a pastor preach from Proverbs 31 and speak as if it were a job description for moms.  “Ladies, this is what you need to do.”  


Even as a teenager, I thought to myself: “What is he thinking?!”

 

I have since learned that, not only is it a bad decision to choose Proverbs 31 for Mother’s Day if that's how you're going to apply it, it was also just flat out bad exegesis. And the bad exegesis led to this bad application.

 

Unfortunately, that pastor I listened to as a teenager is not alone in his botching of Proverbs 31. As a result, this is a passage that has led many women to wrongly feel defeated and beat down, not only because they are presented with an unattainable picture of womanhood, but also that the picture of womanhood they receive is reduced to marriage, motherhood, and household chores.

 

I think the pastor meant well. But Proverbs 31 was never intended to be a prescriptive job description or task list for women. 


The reality is: Proverbs 31 wasn’t even written to women; it was a message to a man (see verse 1).

 

And if we set this chapter in its appropriate context at the end of the book of Proverbs, the other important thing we discover is: The description given to us in verses 10 to 31 is not actually describing any particular individual; it’s describing “lady wisdom”, who we hear about several times throughout the book of Proverbs.

 

Who is “lady wisdom”? 


“Lady wisdom” is wisdom personified. “She” is the embodiment of a life of wisdom.  Or, think of it this way: We (both women and men) are being shown in these verses , through "lady wisdom", what wisdom looks like in action.

 

So Proverbs 31 was never intended to be a “check list” for women. Its intention was always to provide for both sexes a complete picture of the character of a person who lives wisely.

 

Why do I use the word “complete”? Because, what we might miss in translation, is that Proverbs 31 is actually a beautiful 22-line acrostic poem. Each line begins with a letter of the Hebrew alphabet in succession. This communicates a sense of totality and completeness, similar to how we would use the phrase "from A to Z" today.

 

So, if we put all of this together: Proverbs 31 is a Hebrew poem about “lady wisdom” who completely embodies and exemplifies - for both women and men - a life of godly character and wisdom.

 

And the character traits listed in this embodiment of wisdom aren’t new; they are scattered throughout the book of Proverbs.

 

Someone who has godly character (v. 10; cf. 12:4; 18:22).

Someone who is diligent, not lazy (v. 15, 27; cf. 10:4).

Someone who is generous (v. 20; cf. 14:31)

Someone who has no fear of the future (v. 25; cf. 3:5-6). This, in fact, is one of the central points of wisdom in the book of Proverbs: Someone who trusts in the Lord and not their own ways.

Someone who speaks wisdom (v. 26; cf. 18:4).

Someone who fears the Lord (v. 30; cf. 1:7).

 

So why am I sharing this with you today? 


Because I want you to see Proverbs 31 in its intended light: As a beautiful description of what a wise life (not just wife) looks like -- a life lived in the fear of the Lord, walking in His ways, and allowing Him to direct our steps. 


This is the picture that Proverbs is providing for us.

 

But why, someone may ask, is the Proverbs 31 embodiment of wisdom described as a woman?  That’s an important question, especially as we consider it in light of New Testament teaching.

 

First, consider this: The most intimate earthly relationship a person can have is with a spouse.  Proverbs is telling us that this is the kind of intimate relationship we should have with wisdom.

 

On top of that, marriage is used in the New Testament to describe the relationship between Christ and His church (Eph. 5:32). We (both men and women) are the “bride of Christ” (Rev. 21:2). So the unity that the church has with Jesus is likened to the marriage relationship between husband and wife. But the point of that is not the gender that is mentioned; the point is the intimacy of the relationship. 


And if we remember, as well, that Christ is described as “the wisdom of God” (1 Cor. 1:30), this is what we can glean from all of this: The way we begin to live a life of wisdom, as personified for us in “lady wisdom” in Proverbs 31, is as we come into intimate relationship with the wisdom of God - Jesus Christ. 


When we come into relationship with Christ, His Spirit indwells us and then empowers us to live in this way of wisdom.


So church, let's refuse to miss the beauty of Proverbs 31 by inappropriately reducing it to some sort of checklist of tasks for women.  That kind of exegetical carelessness completely misses the point and intention of the author.


Instead, let's see this Proverb in it's appropriate light and glory in the goodness of God who shows us - whether male or female - the path of wisdom and empowers us by His Spirit with the character we need to then live it out.


May you be blessed by these truths today.


- Mark


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